What happens with the Naive

What happens with the Naive

Those little wishes when we were kids, like dreaming of getting married, getting a job- which to most of us was a doctor- and basically the wish to just 'grow up'.
I remember because Mums always used to give us one single and common reaction: a sigh followed by "We've also wanted that but took our wishes back when we did become grown-ups".
So, to get to the main point, some of us wanted this so that they'd get freedom, either of choice or of speech, or even both. Others wanted it to be able to understand things almost perfectly-I was of the latter. I wasn't extraordinary nor smart enough to even understand why I wanted this, maybe I wanted to feel smart though. I hated being naive and I've always hated asking questions, because like many of us thought, I didn't want to look dumb or stupid; I've always cared about how others saw me.
That wasn't the main reason though, I loved discovering things on my own, and feeling that I did something just GREAT! I loved the feeling of knowing something and thinking I was the first in the world to find out about it, I would often be disappointed, however, knowing it on my own always made me feel..something!
I hated being dependent, I hated it when someone told me new things and in my mind I'd go like "Oh, I never knew about that!". I wanted to find things on my own, getting information while you're sitting relaxed on your couch just sucks!
Being a kid to me was like being a bird in a cage, you're only allowed to see, but you cannot break free and get the explanations yourself. The world was what others have drawn to you, what others have implanted for you. And you..? You were just a bystander, a naive, innocent bystander.
I want to read this post years from now, smile and say "I thank you God for what you have granted me, and I shall live whatever phase completely".
I just don't want to be a kid again, I don't want to wish for a past, but a future yet to be.