Between protesting inside and out

I have spent the whole last week trying to find out which is more important in religion: The family or the country. It reminded me of this saying "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"; I seriously couldn't find out by myself, and the more I want to use religious book, the more scared I become to find the answer.
Now, it's not about being scared to die, it's about not wanting to fail, even though something tells me that if I ever go out for war behind my parents' back and die a martyr, Allah will forgive me for it; I only fear that my family would forever live in guilt or regret--I don't want that to ever happen.
I don't know how right it is to actually not let go of your children, especially when they're girls, just because they will be harmed-so what's the point of going, huh? The point IS to sacrifice your soul for the country, the point is to be able to understand that freedom requires loss of souls, partial loss of happiness, loss of many pleasures, in order to deserve democracy.

I have already discussed with some friends the reasons behind parents' attitude since the 25th of January, and to sum up the whole thing, here are the main reasons:
  1. The typical Egyptian parent attitude of "enti bent w hatetbahdeli w tetma7aki fel regala, ed3elhom a7san".
  2. Stay around the neighborhood and protect your home first.
  3. Strictness: a much worse attitude.
  4. The pessimistic Egyptian parent: "elshabab elly henak de kollaha 3eyal seyya3, hatrou7i tet3aksi w teegi".
  5. And finally, the over-concern.
A friend asked me on the very first days f the revolution: "Would you let your children go if you were a parent?". I said I'd let them go but go with them myself, because I have to support how positive and energetic they are, but to actually kill that enthusiasm within them, that would never, ever help in writing history.
I'm done with my words, I just want every parent, who didn't let their children go, to know this: You have made a lot of sacrifices for your children, perhaps one of them should be letting your children go help write a new history, it really, really aches everyone who didn't go, and God knows if they'll ever wake up to witness a new change that they can participate in.

Sincerely,
A torn-apart citizen who never got to be a protester.

4 comments:

marooned84 | February 14, 2011 at 1:40 AM

I kind of faced this dilemma when I was younger, but you can say it didn't take me much time to decide.
Well, to put it bluntly, you betray yourself by letting go of any of your rights however small to satisfy anyone, especially parents.
In most cases growing up is something you snatch and deserve, not something you wait for. Sometimes you have to stand up for your rights and go against parents' wishes, and by doing so and succeeding in whatever you're doing you snatch your right of being a grown up responsible for your actions. Otherwise you'll one will always remain that helpless little kid in need of protection.
Sorry for being a bit harsh :)

Knee | February 14, 2011 at 2:35 PM

It's okay =) LOL I don't know what to say, however, I don't feel surprised because you're a guy, you can do what you said above, but sadly I cant't, and if it's not because I'm a girl then it's because of my dad.
I still think it's a never-ending circle, home and country are one place and to leave one is just...
I didn't say I didn't participate, I did pray in every single prayer and fasted and tried to convince the pro-Mubarak people; I just find it not enough y'know. And I also went out after the stepping down to sweep the streets.

Thanks for your words though, I accept harsh criticism =D So you went?

marooned84 | February 14, 2011 at 3:16 PM

oh yeah I went, and in the beginning family didn't even know about it (especially the first Friday the 28th). apart from anything else, what I saw there in Tahrir by the end of the first week was life-changing.
btw there were many girls who stayed there most of the nights, and not just what you might call free girls. It's just they believed in their cause and stood up not only for the regime, but for their families and traditions as well! for me I only slept there a couple of nights.
I'm sorry wallahi en el mwdo3 geh feki enti, bs what I always believed is that freedom is not only political. in my own judgement, one of the reasons this revolution erupted was that enough youth (guys and in lesser extent girls) freed themselves from social chains and started concentrating on political chains.
looks like this debate is just starting :)

Knee | February 21, 2011 at 4:48 PM

Lol wallahi I understand, bas it's hard to explain those chains within some families, I try to cheer myself up by believing that I have to build after what the regime had killed, of course I have my part and I do want to fully dedicate myself to it, I just don't know when lel asaf.
Don't be :) you don't know how much I love harsh comments =D and you're right, I just can't fight my parents, sometimes it's near impossible..

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