Today I woke up with this thought. I really don't know whether it was a thought or it really was a dream that paved its way through reality and struck me numb. So let's call it a dream; it was about calling a friend whom I haven't called for three months (this is true) and finding out that she had passed away some time ago. I was of course too speechless to react or say anything, not even an Al baqaa' lellah. I was left with too many regrets that tore at my heart without a single consequence, or at least not a moral lesson for now. Is this really what's happening now? I mean, I know it's always been a possible eternal farewell once we leave a friend go their separate way, but at these current circumstances, you never really know what's gonna happen next on the political side. It could've been me, it could've been you. If today it didn't happen, there is a greater chance tomorrow that we'll be in this together, maybe even carried by the same people who will try to help us get some medical aid. You don't know why they won't go after you, because if you think about what you do on daily basis, you're no less than any other human being that wanted freedom before and was brutally punished for going public about it. You just don't know.
You know when you try to do something good and you fail, and then you do it over and over and over until you get this slight flicker of light that guides you through to keep going? Well, it's equally there, for the good and the bad. We're going in a parallel lane now; just as we'll try hard enough to topple the whole regime not just the leaders, the remnants and thugs of Mubarak's regime will always try to seek that flicker of light somewhere.
"If you don't know how to do it, use the ignorant first, then you'll drive a whole ignorant society that fights freedom, involuntarily " You'll always find this, and the system is playing its dirty games and they're working perfectly fine. It's a way to go, isn't it? It's easier to try to play on the side of the naive and ignorant so you can guarantee a great success. It's always been this way: If something happens with the system, we'll always find that particular category in the society to educate. Educate..
It's such a confusion to decide whether you're too tired (though on a personal level, I've done nothing of what the activists, for example, did and still do) of this drama, stupid dirty and lame games, or too energetic to die another day for this country - though either way, it's just another day to fight. And another day to pray for the future of our Beloved.
In a country where the ignorant are cocksure and the intelligent are so full of doubt; Please hold your faith in your heart and play on the good side!