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The dream that consumed me!

Two days have passed and I still can't forget the death I dreamt about; was it really death that made me so persistent and made me hold on to life more, or was it just a metaphor in the dream, telling me to be stronger, in hard times? I don't know.
Of course I don't know how it started, but in the middle of the dream I was gun-shot three times in less than a moment of time; the first was straight at my heart, the second at my chest, the third at my chest from the right side a little bit. Thing is, I know that if you are dying in a dream and you don't wake up before you actually lose your last breath, you die in real life, which is a fact that I experienced before. I once was shot at my heart as well and was bleeding on a bathroom floor to death, and then I woke up with the most terrible heart and left arm pain ever.
Anyway, I didn't die in the dream, instead I kept walking and walking down the streets, and the best thing in the dream was that I uttered the Shahada even twice while walking. I tried to fix things, do things. I don't really remember dying in the dream (most probably I didn't, since I'm alive now and here), I remember, though, saying the Shahada for the third time before something critical happened.
My dreams are generally insignificant and without a meaning, but some dreams are really hard to forget - only because you feel like they tell something, rather than speculate something!
Ever since this dream, I don't know, I have one of the weirdest feelings ever; I do wanna die a decent death - and by that I mean martyrdom. But it was great, it was really great dying with bullets and uttering Shahada knowing that I was dying for a purpose.
Confession: Death dreams are consuming my sleep so much lately, and especially gunshot dreams, I don't know why. Does this have to do with anything related to the revolution? But I've had those dreams even before that, I remember pretty well. And Does this mean anything about death itself, or it's actually related to life?

ربنا يرزقنا حسن الخاتمة
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10 Things You Didn't Know About Sleep

  1. We can only dream about faces we have already seen, whether we actively remember them or not.
  2. Parasomnia is a type of sleep disorder that makes you do unnatural movements despite being asleep.
  3. 12% of people dream only in black and white. This number used to be higher but since the advent of colored television, more people dream in color than before.
  4. People who do not dream generally have personality disorder.
  5. British soldiers were the first to develop a method in staying up 36 hours without sleep; when fatigued, they put on special visors that emulated the brightness of a sunrise and it woke them up.
  6. It takes two weeks to starve to death, but 10 days without sleep will kill you.
  7. Within 5 minute of waking up, 50% of your dream is forgotten, within 10 minutes, 90% is gone.
  8. Men have dreams about other men 70% of the time. But women dream about men and women equally.
  9. People who are born blind experience dreams involving emotion, sound, smell and touch instead of sight.
  10. What goes on in your sleep is this: Your brain recharges, your cells repair themselves and your body releases important hormones.

Source HERE
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Dow Chemical: Unethical actions



Dow Chemical already had a sinister reputation before they acquired Union Carbide, in 2001. Dow Chemical put a lot of money into its development and manufacturing of napalm for the U.S. military, a chemical which was infamous in the Vietnam War for giving people horrific burns and damaging a generation of unborn babies.

Union Carbide, though, is directly responsible for the deaths of around 8,000 Indian people in December 1984, and the birth defects that followed. The Bhopal disaster occurred when a pesticide factory in Bhopal, India, owned and operated by Union Carbide Corporation, leaked large and deadly amounts of Methyl isocyanate, a highly poisonous gas. So many people were affected because the workers at the plant were so poor that their families set up homes outside the factory gates.

Union Carbide offered $350 million in compensation, the Government of India said that the damages cost $3.3 billion; the Government, in the end, had to settle for $470 million. Throughout the years, UCC have had to fund hospitals and response centers after being nagged by officials, but many still say that what UCC have donated is negligible when compared to the human cost of the disaster.

Dow Chemical, who are the wealthier new owners of Union Carbide, have yet to make significant reparations to the people of Bhopal.


--I'm posting this because Dow Chemical is one of the companies we, at my company, publicly get news about, and I do recognize it's one of the biggest Chemical companies worldwide. FML!

Source: Listverse
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Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions


This is a wheel for emotions created by the professor Robert Plutchik, where you can find 8 basic emotions and 8 advanced emotions composed of two basic ones.

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عُقدة الخَواجة -HBBC: 3

.اضغط هنا للتعرّف على بقية الأعضاء

. الخواجة المتعقد : موضوع من إختيار الأخت الكريمة مروة

الأسبوع اللي فات و إحنا قاعدين بنفطر في الشغل.. طبعاً لازم السياسة تدخل مع كل حتة جبنة في الزور ، مديري قال جملة ، أو وجهة نظر بعض الناس بتقولها مؤخراً عن الثورات العربية ، أنا عن نفسي مقتنعتش بيها بس حسيتها منطقية إلى حدٍ ما ، على الرغم من إنها مبالغ في تقديرها.. وجهة النظر تأتي كالآتي : بعض الناس شايفة إن الثورات العربية الحالية ما هي إلا مؤامرة من أمريكا و دول العالم الأول للثورة على الديكتاتوريين و تحرر الشعوب بأنفسها لتتحول فيما بعد إلى دول علمانية لا دينية تنسى الهوية الإسلامية و الهوية العربية
بِغض النظر إني لا أتفق مع وجهة النظر دي ، بس معرفش ليه من ساعة ما سمعتها و أنا فعلاً أفكار نظرية المؤامرة مش راضية تطلع من نفوخ أمي

أولاً كده ، أنا هربط صلة بين اللي قلته دا و بين عقدة سي الخواجة : أنا بالنسبة لي مبدأ عقدة الخواجة ما هو إلا ناتج من نتائج و أهداف نظرية المؤامرة السحيقة ، بمعنى ، اللي أخدناه دا مش من أجانب برضو ؟ و مش كثير منه من إحتلال برضو ؟ نفس فكرة دول المغرب العربي اللي مش عارفين يتكلموا لغة عربية صح بسبب الإحتلال الفرنسي ، لكن للأسف الإحتلال الفكري أسوأ بكثير من الإحتلال الواقعي الحقيقي.
عارفين الناس اللي بتقول مبارك عيّشنا في سِلم لمدة ثلاثين سنة و أمريكا و إسرائيل مدخلوش مصر أبداً طول الفترة دي؟ طيب...الكلام دا هرتلة في هرتلة...عشان كلنا عارفين إن أمريكا مش محتاجة تدخل بجيوش عشان تموّتنا ، بس ممكن تدخل فكرياً و تدخّلنا في متاهة خمسين ألف عقدة خواجة : فساد الأخلاق و عدم وجود هوية واضحة للشعب - إحنا بجد شعب "كونفيوزد" و مش عارفين نمشي ورا مين ولاّ مين ، بس أهم حاجة...إحنا لازم نمشي ورا حد ، لازم نبقى ذيل حد ، مش صح إننا يبقى لينا هويتنا المستقلة ، بس يا سلام لو مشينا وراهم...اللي هما نفسهم اللي "بيقولوا" و مصدر "سمعت كذا"...ولاّ إيه؟

المهم إن نظرية المؤامرة بتلعب دورها داخلياً بشكل قذر ، إزاي؟ هتلاقي أبسط حاجة في محلات الملابس..الهدوم الطويلة و الجيبات إبتدت تتلاشى و تنعدم من السوق. التيشرتات الي بِكُم إبتدت تبقى ظاهرة نادرة أو غير موجودة من أساسه
نيجي على لحظة دخول المحال : إنتَ يا إما هتسمعلك أغنية مصري سيس من بتوع إسمو إيه دا اللي كلنا عارفينه ، أو أغنية إنجليزي سيس فحت برضو ، أو أسبانية أو فرنساوية أو ما إلا غيره ، بس في الغالب بتبقى سلو- على الرغم من إني مسمعتش الأخيرة دي كتير
علامة "صنع في" : التجار يقولولك دا تركي أو إيطالي أصلي يا فندم، وهو محصّلش إنتاج أوسخ حتة فيكي يا مصر ، طب بالنسبة للكواليتي؟ مالاحظتوش أن محلات الماركات بنلاقي فيها حاجة كده زي بواقي البضاعة؟ يعني مش إحتلال فكري و نظريات مؤامرة بس ، لأ و كمان عامليننا زبالة العالم!
و الأنيل و الأضلّ إن الناس بتحب الخامات الرديئة دي لمجرد إننا مجبرين ، و بتشوف أسعارها هايلة ، و يا سلام لو كان فيه تخفيضات على الأسعار ، الدنيا تزقطط في عيون الغلابة اللي مستحوذ عليهم فكر عمره ما هيسيبهم طالما إنهم قابلينه أصلاً

خلاصة الكلام ، تحرر الشعوب مش من برة ، و مش بس من تغيير أنظمة ، عشان مينفعش نغيّر و منتغيّرش ، دا إسمه تخلف فكري و تراجع دولة مش بناء دولة. فبما إننا في وضع ثورات و كده..ممكن نثور على هويتنا ، قصدي هويتهم ، و نبني إحنا هويتنا من أول و جديد؟

! بس كده
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Things I don't tell about Myself - LBC

This is my weekly post with the Loose Bloggers Consortium (LBC) including Rummuser, Anu, Ashkok, Gaelikka, Grannymar, Conrad, Padmum, Anki, Will Knott, Maria The Silver Fox, Noor,Paul, Plain Joe, Rohit, Magpie, Delirious, and myself, where we have a Weekly topic to discuss. Please visit their blogs to get different views about this. This Friday's topic has been chosen by Gaelikka and Anu.
I'm so mad I actually missed last Friday's topic on the culture shock, too bad I was having such a hard time.

Most people will talk about the imperfections, right? The paranoid part of us that gets us feeling everyone's hatred on their way to our hearts when we mention our negative traits, no? I don't know but, I think the positive parts are the ones supposed to be hidden.
Someone once told me about a man who proposed to a girl and told her about all his flaws, literally, whether he smoked, was an easily-provoked person..everything, and then let her decide. Some people would say this is so like low self-esteem, but I actually liked what the guy did; and like they say "If you can identify your own flaws, then you've already won half the battle", or something of that sort..

If I actually tell you the things I don't tell about myself here, the contradiction here would be just perfect. So let's give a hint: I don't always talk about the things that obsess me, or the things I do excessively yet find absolutely ridiculous and lame. I don't talk about my feminine side, especially that I don't always like it. I don't talk about emotions, and not always insecurities.
I don't talk about my negativities nor posotivities, I talk about anything that would hide neither, yet reveal both.
And..Don't ask me to make sense here please :D
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Forgive and Forget [HBBC:2]

Welcome to The Half-Baked Bloggers Consortium's (HBBC) second post. Meet the members here.
This week's topic is Forgive and forget, chosen by Noor Al Zubaidy. Please take the time to view the members' blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.

The Forgs
I don't know which comes first actually, do we forgive first then forget? or forget then forgive? Do you first remember the pain, feel the hatred and then remember that you'll never be able to forgive? Or you feel the hatred then remember the pain and know that you'll never forget?
Personally, for those past couple of weeks, miserable weeks if you ask me, I completely felt the bliss of having the capability to forget. And now that we're taking the forgetfulness part first, I got this question in mind: Have you ever wondered about the pain of those who always say the words "I never forget a face"? Have you ever thought that this is, at times, not a great thing to brag about? And that it's actually an obvious lie?
Sometimes the people who have the most beautiful faces, are the ones you really need to forget, are the ones you really need to know that your ability to never forget a face can turn into a curse, to fall upon you and haunt you in your dreams and turn their sweetness into ebony nightmares. Don't brag about not forgetting a thing; this is something Allah has granted us with. Forgetfulness is a true bliss.

If we take it linguistically, forgetting comes before forgiving, but if we take it emotionally, I guess you need to forgive that person for the certain emotions they evoked within you, or forgive the emotion itself for how it shifted everything good in your life into terribleness. And then comes the lame, yet true saying, it's about time we forget.
Okay, I hate cliches, but let's be real, if there was no God and there was no time, how will we actually forget?

Then comes lessons, if you forgive and forget, and also forget the lessons, you are a curse of your own kind, and a curse to your own poor self. The lessons come with the package, so if you lose them, know that your forgs have lost the uncommon letters and become one common word that does not even make sense.
You need to know how the process goes. Or else, forget about forgetfulness, and don't mind forgiveness.


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On Death..

A dear college colleague of mine passed away. The saddest part is, I didn't even know she was sick.
إنا لله و إنّا إليه راجعون
There is definitely something wrong in this world, with the death of too many young people. I guess the end really is that near..

اللهم أعِنّا على طاعتك و ارزقنا الجنة..ولا تحرمنا من النظر إلى وجهك الكريم
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HBBC: Introduction for the articles [Edited]

Welcome to The Half-Baked Bloggers Consortium's (HBBC) first post, where Maha Mohamed, Ammar Al-Majali, Rana Safi, Maryam, Yara Hani, Noha Hanafy, Noor Al Zubaidy, Deppy, Nouran Ziad, Noor El terk, Salima Al Masrouri, Mariam Tarek, Sara Amr, Yasmine Fayez, Rania Khaled, Engi Amin, Ibhog, Abeer Zaki, Hea, Christ, Hagar Haggag Yomna Arbad, Salma M San, My Essam and I voice our opinions about a weekly topic chosen by various members. This weekend's topic is Self-love, chosen by Nema (me). Please take the time to view thier blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.


Article...

Apologies again for the lack of words and positivity I'm going through. Soon insha'allah it shall fade.